Cigarettes, Friends, New Shoes, Goodbye.

So it's been awhile since I've blogged but I felt compelled so...here I am. Well, this past weekend was actually pretty good. Considering my "partial" grounding, It was awesome. Lindsay had her "Birfday Partayy!" down here, and we had a great time. Jas even came over. I hate seeing Lindsay cry though. When she left today she just started bawling, partly because of her departure and partly another subject that I will not speak of quite yet, I hate it when she does and she knows I do but she still does stuff that she knows is wrong. Then she gets in trouble and i don't even get to talk to her for another 2 whole weeks. Ridiculous...

I still haven't asked...and I don't think I will. I'm so confused like, I want to, but I can't. I don't know if I'm afraid of being shutdown or if I'm just...I don't know.

I hate how some kids just abuse the hell out of substances that they know will get them fucked up. It's really annoying. Like why would you want to make yourself stupid, but for only one night or a few hours. Seriously I wake up sometimes like...why the hell do I even smoke cigarettes. I mean I know the reason and I know that I don't abuse them. I mean, if I really need 2 I'll have 2, but then I'm done for awhile. If I wanted to I could kill a few packs in a day, probably more than that, but then It's a waste of cigarettes which is a waste of money and you get cancer faster. Plus you'll be more likely to get cancer.

People must think I'm a retarded push-over. Seriously some people have been just straight dumb with me. Thinking I don't know wht they are doing. When I know exactly what they are doing and it's usually for self-pleasure. Fuck people. I swear I better get what I was promised, and I better get it the next time you see me. Before you do stuff for yourself. It's not just one person either. It's a couple people. So if anyone that has made a deal with me and broke it or hasn't payed me back yet and you're reading this. I'm pissed and you better reconcile with me. I'm especially mad with someone who promised me something, did it anyways ,and found out that I had done it after the deal and was pissed at me, but they weren't ever gonna tell me. How shallow can you get. If you would have just told me straight up first thing I would have been diasapointed yeah, but not angry. I'm sorry, but my trust level and respect level just plumeted for all you.


Wow, ok so I'm gonna stop ranting before I get into some trouble with people and before I go into politics. Hahaha. Well, I guess I'm out for tonight. I'll try to blog more often for those of you that care. Peace:).